Weighting

Long Day

5dresses — Fri, 29 May 2009 15:57:36 +0000

I am realizing more and more just how addicted and reliant I was on food. I eat with every emotion, and like a true addict I am jittery and all I can think about is food today. I wish that I didnt let it get to this point, but that really is something I shouldnt think about. Things are the way they are, I need to change and it has to be now before I get any worse.

Any Easier?

5dresses — Thu, 28 May 2009 19:47:40 +0000

This morning really was hellish, all I thought about was lunch. This made me realize just how addicted to food that I really am, and by letting myself eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted I was just making the problem bigger and the addiction run deeper. This really is going to be harder than I thought. This afternoon is easier as I have realized that I have to do things to keep my mind off food.

A New Beginning

5dresses — Thu, 28 May 2009 17:50:36 +0000

Today I leave behind a love, I leave behind an addiction of food. Today I am beginning a new way of eating and ultimately a new way of living. After friends of mine had success with the Herbal Magic program, I thought I would try it. I have no will power and figured the monetary commitment would help me stay with it. So after weeks of thinking about it and putting it off I walked into the office and made a commitment that will change my life.

It was an intersting process. My “Magic Lady” asked me a ton of different questions and I think overall, what came out of the consultation was that I want my outsides to match my insides. I feel as if I am a happy person who is outgoing and has a zest for life and is funny and has so many great qualities, but when I look in the mirror that is not what I see. I want my physical qualities to match my mental and spiritual qualities. So I signed on the dotted line and put the money down and today is the beginning of something very difficult but very needed.

This morning I began my new regiment. I took my herbal pills, consulted my book and had a small breakfast and now am drinking obscene amounts of water and craving the food that I used to so readily give myself. Only 20 more minutes till lunch, I can do it. So to distract myself, I will blog. This will be my new “diary” of sorts, a place I can come to and vent my frustrations and tell of my triumphs. Today is a day of new beginnings it is the last day that I weigh 241 lbs and do nothing about it.