Archive for May 2009




Long Day

I am realizing more and more just how addicted and reliant I was on food.  I eat with every emotion, and like a true addict I am jittery and all I can think about is food today.  I wish that I didnt let it get to this point, but that really is something I shouldnt think about.  Things are the way they are, I need to change and it has to be now before I get any worse.

Add a comment May 29, 2009

Any Easier?

This morning really was hellish, all I thought about was lunch.  This made me realize just how addicted to food that I really am, and by letting myself eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted I was just making the problem bigger and the addiction run deeper.  This really is going to be harder than I thought.  This afternoon is easier as I have realized that I have to do things to keep my mind off food.

Add a comment May 28, 2009

A New Beginning

Today I leave behind a love, I leave behind an addiction of food.  Today I am beginning a new way of eating and ultimately a new way of living.  After friends of mine had success with the Herbal Magic program, I thought I would try it.  I have no will power and figured the monetary commitment would help me stay with it.  So after weeks of thinking about it and putting it off I walked into the office and made a commitment that will change my life. 

It was an intersting process.  My “Magic Lady” asked me a ton of different questions and I think overall, what came out of the consultation was that I want my outsides to match my insides.  I feel as if I am a happy person who is outgoing and has a zest for life and is funny and has so many great qualities, but when I look in the mirror that is not what I see.  I want my physical qualities to match my mental and spiritual qualities.  So I signed on the dotted line and put the money down and today is the beginning of something very difficult but very needed.

This morning I began my new regiment.  I took my herbal pills, consulted my book and had a small breakfast and now am drinking obscene amounts of water and craving the food that I used to so readily give myself.  Only 20 more minutes till lunch, I can do it.  So to distract myself, I will blog.  This will be my new “diary” of sorts, a place I can come to and vent my frustrations and tell of my triumphs.  Today is a day of new beginnings it is the last day that I weigh 241 lbs and do nothing about it.

Add a comment May 28, 2009

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